Blending the Human and the Spiritual to Create a Life You Love

This week, I’m sitting down with the brilliant Erica Ballard—a life coach, spiritual teacher, and mom of two who is the perfect, beautiful blend of high-performance habits and woo-woo.

Erica and I dive deep into the essential, non-negotiable truth: peace begins with me. This isn't just a pretty affirmation; it’s a radical call to action. We unpack the two "wings" of the human experience—the practical (3D) and the spiritual (5D) —and why you need both to truly fly.

Conscious self-care is not stress management; it's surrendering, reconnecting, and releasing. When you recognize you're fully resourced, you show up how you're intended to—whether that’s crushing a business goal or tenderly handling a tantrum.

If you didn't already know this conversation will affirm: You are whole, period.

In this episode, Erica Ballard and Ryann Watkin talk about:

• Why "fighting reality" (the messy reality of summer, tantrums, and (all the life-ing) is the source of all suffering.

• How to break free of the personal development hamster wheel (the healing loop) where you're always waiting to be "done healing" before you can be happy.

• The life-changing capacity of becoming fully resourced.

• How to use somatic work and the "power of the pause" to get into a relationship with your feelings and find where they live in your body.

• The raw truth about motherhood as a teacher and the pain it exposes—from reliving our own childhood issues to embracing the pure, unadulterated joy of our children.

Chapters

00:00 The Human Experience: Embracing Life's Emotions

06:49 The Blend of High Performance and Spirituality

09:39 From Struggle to Love: The Journey of Self-Discovery

17:08 Breaking Free from the Healing Loop

24:19 Finding Joy in the Present Moment

24:44 Navigating Life's Challenges

27:01 The Importance of Feeling Your Feelings

29:04 Building a Relationship with Yourself

33:12 Motherhood and Self-Care

34:20 Finding Balance in Parenting

37:44 Lessons from Children

40:57 Final Thoughts and Resources

Up Next: Subconscious Reprogramming with Stasia Jaramillo

Resources: The best book list for conscious parents and mindful moms

Full transcript of this conversation with Ryann Watkin and Erica Ballard:

Erica: 00:00

When we take care of ourselves, we take care of everyone else. What I continue to find when I find peace for myself, when I recognize I'm fully resourced, then I get to show up how I'm intended to. For some of us, it's to run a business. For some of us, it's to handle that tantrum because that is something, right? And and for others, it's to like have the energy to donate. It's still a little hard, right? For me, I should say, to like twist that gear. Um, but everything you're saying is true, and I'm always so grateful to be reminded of it because peace does start with you.

Ryann: 00:40

Hello friends, welcome back to the Raising Wild Hearts podcast. So happy you're here. Today I did something different, and I live streamed on Facebook and YouTube. And if you're not following me out on Facebook or YouTube, I think I might do this. I don't know if I'll do it every time, but I'm gonna do it once in a while. So go follow me on YouTube at Raising Wild Hearts and Facebook, I think it's facebook.com slash RW Hearts. But you could also find me by searching Raising Wild Hearts. Also, if you haven't yet, go get on my mailing list at raisingwildhearts.com. Click on become an insider, and I will send you weekly love notes every Wednesday. Mostly every Wednesday. I've skipped a couple Wednesdays this summer because summer has been, well, summer. Okay, so today I'm sitting down with Erica Ballard, and I'm so excited for you guys to hear this conversation. About halfway through, we realized that we were at the same event in 2018, and we were absolutely cracking up. And even after we recorded, we were like, can you even believe it? So that was a fun synchronicity in this conversation. Erica Ballard is a life coach, a spiritual teacher, and a mom of two, having a very human experience. She is described as a beautiful blend of high-performance habits, growth mindset, and woo-woo. In this conversation, we unpack many things, including peace, including motherhood, somatic work. We define somatics, we talk a lot about blending the practical with the spiritual, and so much more. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. Let's jump in. Erica, welcome to the Raising Wild Arts podcast. Hi, Ryan. I'm so glad to be here. So the first place I want to start is you said in your first message to me, I'm a coach, I'm a teacher, I'm a mom of two, and I'm having quite the human experience. And I was like, yep, you had me at human experience. Because I think I know what you meant by that. But would you tell us what you mean by you're having quite the human experience?

Erica: 02:46

Listen, life lives. Do you know what I'm saying? Iron Katie talks about how we often try to fight reality. And I understand why. Like, can I understand why? Right there. Just it's summertime. I have two kids at home. Life is lifing. I got let go on maternity leave. I'm refining myself even though I've been doing the work for so long. And like, I'm really having a human experience. I'm experiencing all the emotions because when I think about what it means, right, to be here, it's not this like levelness, this numbness. It's a healthy nervous system, right? A hue, a full human experience is all of the emotions, all of the feelings, all of it. I know I'm a spirit. I get it, but I'm a spirit having a human experience. And so I got one foot here and one foot there, and we're doing our best. We're doing our best.

Ryann: 03:37

I'm imagining that there's some sort of for me, there's like this equanimity that I have to ultimately surrender to this capacity to feel that top of the roller coaster and then like the bottom, whether it's like wiping the butt, it's holding space for the tantrum, whether it's recording this podcast, it's here we are. And it doesn't mean that it's good or bad. How do you, how does that land for you?

Erica: 04:01

I mean, wonderful. Like when I can get there, right? Which is which I will say, I've been doing the work enough to know that I can, right? Like, but this non-duality that you speak of, it's a journey to get there. What I continue to find is that peace is available there. So great example. Yesterday I was like, I'm at home where I grew up, and all I wanted to do was watch a freaking lesson on somatics. That was it. That's all, like, it was two and a half, to be fair, it was two and a half hours, but I wanted to study, listen, do it. And I mean, I'm livid that I can't because I have kids running around, husband being really helpful, but like, you know, like he's being a dad instead of like a caretaker in my highs, right? My mom has watched the kids all day and she's tired. And like, but I'm like, for the love of God, I guess what? And I walk out and I'm like irritated. And then I just stopped myself and said, or alternatively, this is perfect. Or alternatively, this is what's supposed to be happening. And it was like, Yeah. Why did I want the only reason I wanted to finish that was for my ego. The only reason I want to finish that was because I thought it would mean something. Right. And so it's this like the good or bad, right? Is it good or is it bad? Who does this make me? And it's like when you get out of that and realize that everything is God, that there is no good or bad.

Ryann: 05:17

The affirmation I've been saying lately in the mornings this summer, because this summer has been just um, it's just been. It's just it's just been this summer. And uh, I've been saying peace begins with me. And it's just so true because kids are going through various challenges, we're going through various logistical things, we're all a little like tired of each other. It's five billion degrees in Florida. And it's just like, can I choose to show up in peace? Because that's it. That's really beautiful. I've been saying I'm fully resourced. Oh, that just makes me like melt a little bit. I'm fully resourced. Yes.

Erica: 05:56

Yeah. Yes. But how continues to be a challenge, honestly, in this in this space, right? The spiritual growth, the spiritual space is this understanding that like this is my science language, like we're the end of one, right? There's only one of us. And that when we take care of ourselves, we take care of everyone else, right? Like when you look around the world, like I was, uh, I don't want to call it doom scrolling because that's not what was happening. I was trying to numb out, and then I saw pictures of Gaza and then was like immediately incapable of numbing out. Um like, what? You know what I mean? Like me taking care of me can help that. Are you sure? But what I continue to find, when I find peace for myself, when I recognize I'm fully resourced, then I get to show up how I'm intended to. And for some of some of us, it's to run a business in that moment. For some of us, it's to handle that tantrum, because that is something, right? And and for other of us, it's to like have the energy to donate, have the energy to fundraise, have the energy to so it's so true. But I do understand that when we say this, that it's really natural to be like because there is, it's still a little hard, right? For me, I should say, to like twist that gear. But everything you're saying is true. And I'm always so grateful to be reminded of it because peace does start with you because it's only you. Yeah. It's only you, you know?

Ryann: 07:21

Yeah. So you've been described as a beautiful blend of high performance habits, growth mindset, and woo-woo. Tell me what it is about this combination that makes you such a powerhouse, an effective businesswoman, a present mother, all the things. Like, what is it about the combination of that that makes Erica so Erica?

Erica: 07:45

Great question. Here's what I would say. I going back to the human experience, we're spirit having a human experience, right? And so understanding that already, I think gives me an edge, right? And I think anyone who gets that understands that, like, okay, my language, this world is an illusion, right? When you get it, you can just naturally calm down, like for a second, right? I'm a student of a course in miracles. So um prefacing with that lens is our mind gets to choose, right? And yes, I, you know, I talk a lot about like body, mind connection. I believe this thing is your walking subconscious, but our mind gets to choose. And because my experience here is one of a learner, one who absorbs information, what's really fun is that my growth is tied to choosing the truth. And I know multiple ways to choose the truth. So it's like high performance habits, like growth mindset. It's because I I love to learn and I know that when I'm spiraling, as some of us do from time to time, is I get to choose in my mind what I see. And when I can't always go there spiritually, right? I get to pull from these tools that say, just turn like look left. Just look left. And that enables me to show up in a way that feels and is genuine, authentic, like loving, even if it's a little direct for some people, even if it's a little, you know, it's a little different than what people might consider to be love or love and light.

Ryann: 09:14

So you say that you figured out how to love life. I would just love to break down that secret of how to love life because I know that it's not butterflies and rainbows for you. I know it's not all love and light. So, how is it that you got to the place? And what was that particularly what was the struggle like? How was that born from your challenge, from your struggle?

Erica: 09:42

The for I wish I knew who said this because I think it's such a brilliant phrase. The purgatory of the mundane. That's kind of where I lived. Really felt I needed to prove myself and be somebody. I never thought I was smart enough. Like the fact that I tell you that I'm I'm a learner and I use my intellect, like for so long, I just felt like an idiot. I just felt stupid and unlovable by other people, like by a you, by like a person I didn't know, right? Friends, I was bullied, all those things. And it essentially created someone who was constantly performing, but extremely unaware that she was. And even now, right, it's something that I've got to be really conscious of. My mask was like cool girl, like hard worker, achiever, like to get ahead, to chase whatever version of success that we all consume, right? Is or that version of success we all consume. You have to numb out. Like you have to because it's insane when you really think about it, right? Like, because it's it's essentially I will be happy when. Yep. The hamster wheel, the hamster wheel, and then everything will come.

Ryann: 10:47

That something is so great in this imagined future that never actually happens because you're always still focused on the imagined future.

Erica: 10:54

Yeah, and then when you get the imagined future, you move the needle, not in a like grateful content, it will come move the needle, in a like great. I check the box to get to the next part because really happiness is this future. This was just the stepping stone to happiness, you know?

Ryann: 11:14

Yeah, do you know? Do you know, Red? Uh still keep going up that mountain. You'll you're almost there. You're almost almost there.

Erica: 11:22

So, you know, you never get there. And at some point, essentially, like the piece that I love and hate about the story is that at some point I was like, just give up. Like, not give up life, like give up dreaming. This is I'm 28. I'm in my little scion XA, driving to work. And I remember looking out the window and being like, Why are you even dreaming of a better future? This is it. Like, this is it. Buckle up, kid. We just gotta slug it out for the next 50 plus years. I was like constantly shutting down dreams. I would stare out a window just mindlessly. I was numb. And so that was me for the first 30 some years, NBD. At one point, I saw a woman named Karen Kenny speak on a stage.

Ryann: 12:03

I know Karen Kenny. Okay. Oh my gosh. So I saw Karen. Wow. Oh my gosh, what event were you at? Were you at the Ignite Your Soul Summit? Shut. Uh so was I. That's crazy. Right. We were in this. There was only like 270 people in that room. I was there. I like 2018, right? Oh my God. That's hilarious. She's so oh my god, she's such a good speaker.

Erica: 12:29

Shout out KK. We love you. Oh my God. And I like Karen cannot know how many times I quote her. Like, I quote Karen pretty much anytime on a I'm on a podcast.

Ryann: 12:39

The Forgiveness Olympics. Life is like the fucking forgiveness Olympics. Like, favorite quote ever.

Erica: 12:44

My favorite quote from Karen, and this is what she ended her speech with on that stage. She said, The world needs saving and God sent you. And my whole body went, yup, and I couldn't fight it anymore. She always tells that story about the Course of Miracles, how she like the book fell on her head, and then she was like threw it across the room. Same thing, except that I bought the book and then it would like start to disappear in my house. And I found it and I started reading it when I was moving, and it changed everything. Like understanding that this world's an illusion and chair is not a chair, like it sent me. It just opened my eyes to the truth. And then I have just kept looking for it ever since. Then I started to dive into the science of it because I moved from course to quantum physics and Joe Dispenza and all that, is my body was just um accustomed to the negative feelings. And so when I start to remember what is my birthright, right? What is truly available to me, everything started to crumble because once I understood that, like unhurried, spacious, impactful, fun, present, invincible, courageous, love, like all of this is what I am. And I can train this thing to remember that I can change. And when the world is set up for me to reach my goal of truth, then I'm like, oh, everything here is for me. And I've done enough work that when I'm really pissed off about a somatics class, I can stop and say, wait a second, wait a second. This is what's true. This moment is the only thing that's real. Yeah. And that to me has been like the longest and shortest journey one can take.

Ryann: 14:13

Yeah.

Erica: 14:13

You know? Um, and I would say just as like a preview for me, like where I'm going, is like understanding that the world is an illusion was really simple. Seeing God in everything, that's the walk on right now. Like the forgiveness Olympics, God is in all of us, like that's where I am now. And it's a really wonderful, beautiful, and at times very challenging place to be.

Ryann: 14:36

So, what I heard you say about this work you've done, this path you've walked, all the shit that's happened to you. I'm hearing you say there's like one central place of you that you call truth that we're trying to describe in words, which is probably impossible. What came to mind for me is like the is-ness of the moment. There's like this be, right? And that's what I'm hearing you say. It's it's not even necessarily like authenticity or alignment or some of these buzzwords that we hear out in the sphere and they feel really good, but it's like just stripping all that away and really getting to like what it is. I'm so curious, also, though, because this reminds me of all this work that we do, all this healing that we do. And you say breaking free of the healing loop. I'm curious what you mean by that, because for me, I feel as though I was kind of on this personal development hamster wheel. So I went from one hamster wheel of this like ambitious achieving, you know, various hamster wheels, I guess. And then I went to this like personal development hamster wheel. I was like, I can do this. I can totally do this. Yeah, I'll be, I'll still be happy when when I'm done healing. Is that what you mean by that? Like breaking free of this loop of thinking that there's always more work. So, what how does that land for you?

Erica: 15:59

Can I just tell you that I love that you asked the question, how does that land for you? I just think it's such a brilliant, like it's just beautiful. Um, I love it. I'll tell you how it landed. I was like, that's the problem, right? We think we're broken. Like, that's Course of Miracles 101. That's Karen Kenny 101, really is like you're whole, period. And when you understand that you're whole, you heal differently. And what I mean by like, we become up, like our purpose becomes healing. And it's like we heal to have fun, we heal to enjoy ourselves. At some point, you have to enjoy yourself. And you realize that when you continue to heal, it's because you're actually still in survival. Your body still doesn't feel safe here. Like a bird has two wings and needs two wings to fly. It loses a wing, it spirals right into a circle. The two wings for human experience is practical and spiritual. As a as someone who's human, we're on the achieving hamster wheel, right? Um, and we are looking to make as much money as possible and we're really focused on paying bills, and we're believing and acting as if like succeeding in this world, the way that it's laid out, is it. Then a portion of us wake up and we hop over to the spiritual wing. But then we forget often about the practical. We're not thinking about paying bills, we're not thinking about all that. And that's not necessarily bad, but here's the deal to fly, you need both wings. You need to be both practical and spiritual because you decided to come here to have a human experience. And so that's what I think about a lot with the healing loop is like we often go too far and then we spin and then we wonder why nothing else is working. And it's like you're supposed to come back. Supposed to come back to this world because you do, you need a period of isolation, like back in the day, right? We used to like be able to go to a cave or an ashram or whatever and do that. But then a fair amount of people get kicked out of the ashram, right? To serve in the quote unquote real world. And so many of us we don't do that, and we try to stay in this like heal, heal, heal. And what I keep coming up against is like when you do that, you're in survival mode. And then we're not enjoying our life, and then we're wondering why. I really think that we are meant to enjoy this space. I think that when I think about enlightenment, right, it's it's joy, it's being here and loving here. And you cannot do that if you are on that healing hamstrel because you're still looking for a future that's different than now to be joyous. Love that.

Ryann: 18:16

Well, what would you tell somebody who is in a challenge right now, whether that's finances, children, summer, motherhood, like all of the various things that are going on.

Erica: 18:31

I would say that if you're not in a relationship with it, you cannot address it or heal it. So what does that mean? It means you have to be with your thoughts andor your feelings, because otherwise you're trying to solve a problem that might not actually be one. That's what I continue to find is our biggest challenge is we continue, we stay here. And your pain, your frustration, your feeling of inadequacy, right? That's what all this is, like your feeling of like all that, like feeling under-resourced, whatever. That's what all that is. Until you touch it, you cannot change it. And we all try to change our thoughts. I had someone say, you know, when I panic, it I try to like catch my panic attack. And I'm like, I can appreciate that so much. And once your panic attack is starting to go, like it's so much harder to catch it.

Ryann: 19:21

Like you have to be your body's already on board the boat. Like your body has already set sail.

Erica: 19:26

And you have to be hyper aware of feelings to catch it. Like you have like I would say going back to that, like that experience of me being out there and being like, I'm freaking out. Like that's a master shit. Like, like, not to chew my own horn, but like 10 years ago, I could have never felt that feeling in that moment. Yeah. You have to do a lot of work, truly, to get to a point where you catch your feelings before your thoughts. Yeah. And so it's like go like be in relationship with what's happening, and then you can change it. Because a lot of us, like, the reason we're on that hamster wheel, I'm gonna make more money. I'm going to get this job. I'm going to find a partner who loves me, right? Like, I'm going to heal this aspect. You're on the wheel because you think that will solve what you're feeling.

Ryann: 20:14

Yeah. The feeling isn't the problem. The way that you're thinking about the feeling and relating to the feeling is the problem. Yes. And the fact that you're not even willing to feel the feeling is the So, how did you learn how to start feeling your feelings? Because for some people, they hear like, just feel your feelings. And they're like, uh, what? How do I do that? What the hell does that even mean? How did you start to tune in and go, oh, I'm feeling this and that and whatever? Also, there's like dozens of feelings. Like if you look at a feelings wheel, like the first time I saw one of those, I was like, oh my God, look at all the feelings I've been missing. I thought there were like three feelings and look at all these. So how do we tune in, name it, feel it, and then watch it float by like a cloud in the sky?

Erica: 20:58

I had the same, just real quick. When I saw that feelings wheel, I was like, wait, happy, sad, mad. Yeah, totally.

Ryann: 21:05

Happy, sad, mad. Like, yes. Yes, yes. It's very nuanced. Frustrated. Yeah. Overwhelmed, bored. Yes, yes. Um, my daughter's sad. My daughter.

Erica: 21:20

Yeah. She screams, I'm frustrated when things aren't going her way. And I was like, you are. Yep. And and you still cannot have that. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Um that's right. So, yes, it is somatic, which for the record, like this has when we talk about somatics, it's become that also has become a buzzword, right? And all I would say that that means is like it's an internal experience of a problem or like the internal experience of a sensation, right? Like, and it's unique to you. And I'm just clearing that out because I think a lot of times for me, I know when I think of somatics, I think of like shaking and dancing, and you know, it's like what that means is like you I love somatics because you're the expert in somatics, right? Right. And so what I would say for how I started to feel the feelings, yes, it's somatic. Yes, there's a billion ways to do it. And for me, there's twofold. One was meditation, and which is not always every most people hate it. And I did too when I started, but I always say meditation's the most wonderful way to get in touch with yourself because the most and to learn to be calm in chaos because the most chaotic place in the world is your mind. Yes, it is. So I learned how to be in a relationship with my feelings there, and I had to build those the capacity. I could only do two minutes when I started. Now I do an hour pretty much every morning. Wow. Yeah, I know.

Ryann: 22:37

That's like that's next level. I love it. Yeah, right. And I'm sure you need it. You kind of build up your tolerance a little bit, right?

Erica: 22:48

It's really important to me too. And it's my way, right? So first was meditation. The second way was to, I would say, like this, I didn't have a language at the time, but or like could understand it, is I would find my feeling in my body. We hear it all the time, right? Like, go talk to your feeling, go be with it. And I at the beginning would just find it. Where is it? Where is it sitting? And sometimes that's all I could do.

Ryann: 23:13

Yeah. Well you don't have to label it, you don't have to name it, just where is it?

Erica: 23:17

Yeah. We wanna often in our healing journey, do all the things. All the things, but we what people have to understand is like you don't have the capacity to do it. And so, and then we try to bulldoze past it. The irony being that that's the pro like you're using the problem to try to solve. And so you just start small. Where is it? And the other way that I started to feel my feelings is I started to not just go negative. Spoiler, not just go negative. But when it ex something excited me, maybe I would do it. One out of every 26 times, right? Like, let's not be crazy here, but like once a week, what would be fun? Okay, I'll do that. And so I did both the negative and the positive. And that's how I've started to say, okay, these things are okay. And this is excitement, not just being happy, not just being happy. But started to decipher what these things meant because really at the root, what we're doing is we're saying it's safe to be in relationship.

Ryann: 24:19

Yeah.

Erica: 24:20

And so, how do you build a relationship with someone outside of yourself? If we go on a date, it's still like two hours, like we'll go on a two-hour date, right? Okay. But usually that two-hour date started with like a meat cute at a coffee shop. You can start to see, like, oh, how I would make a friend is how I would make friends with myself. Then these little pieces make sense.

Ryann: 24:41

And I think too, there's power in the pause because when I hear you say, find where your feelings are, for me personally, one of the things that I do is bypass that by simply refusing to pause, just simply refusing to stop. It's pushing through or trudging through or checking off the, you know, checkbox, the next thing that needs to be done, or like, I'm so busy. And like you said in the beginning, to bring it full circle, we're so familiar with these feelings in our body. And I think, you know, for me, and I would say for mothers all over the place, is that we have this like perfection thing, this I have to do it all. There's a lot of martyrdom that happens. And I have been unpacking those kind of topics and themes throughout my motherhood. You said when we take care of ourselves, we take care of everyone else. I mean, your kid was crying outside the door and you're sitting here doing this because you chose to be here, because you want to do this, because this is important to you and your mission and your work in the world. And I'm like, I'm just like in awe that you can sit here and be centered and have this conversation while you allow your child outside. They're not alone, they're being cared for by family, right? And yet, here you are still showing up. And I think there is tremendous power and grace in that, and a testament to the work that you've done as well. So we're gonna land the plane soon. And I wanna end with motherhood, this work that you're doing in the world, how it intertwines with caring for yourself, caring for others, serving, and all of it. Like, how do you marry all of those things so gracefully together?

Erica: 26:27

Gracefully is a kind word. Yeah, it's a that's a really kind word to use. It's similar to what you've said, right? So one is is really taking care of myself, right? In the morning, I meditate for an hour. I'm a very like, I'm a very well person. Like wellness, health, it comes very naturally, not naturally, it's now habitual for me. But I will choose meditation, I will choose centering myself, I will choose my time with God over everything, always. And that's number one for me. And it's it's not to check a box. And I think that's it, and it was for so long, which is why I'm bringing it up. Yeah, I'm not managing my stress. I am surrendering, I am reconnecting, I am releasing, right? Any pent-up stress, I am not managing. So I think that that's the first really big distinction. And then the other pieces, like all of this work, right, that you do that you mentioned. Like, I'm, I don't want to say I'm constantly unpacking, but I'm recognizing and allowing things to hit. So a prime example is my daughter turned four last like two Saturdays ago. We did not have the terrible twos. We did not even have the terrible, like the the three teenager. Four. She turned four. Uh-huh.

Ryann: 27:38

Psycho, psychopath. Psychopath. I know. Four was the age for my oldest as well. Also a girl. Correct. Yep.

Erica: 27:46

Whoa. Whoa. Yep. I will say I was on, I get felt I felt like I was unprepared. Yeah. Quiet. Like, and I like to be like, who am I? Yeah. Who am I?

Ryann: 28:03

I mean watching yourself from above, going like, who the hell am I?

Erica: 28:06

Right. Yeah, yeah. So that was the problem for me, right? Like it was okay. It was good initially, but then I kept like rising up and I was realizing like I wasn't there. And when I let myself back to that lane, like be in touch with that anger, what I saw blew my mind. It was like, I love my mom. But that's how I was spoken to, right?

Ryann: 28:28

Yeah. Yeah.

Erica: 28:28

But I had blocked that out.

Ryann: 28:31

Yeah.

Erica: 28:31

And so I didn't realize that the only reason I'm talking to her like that is because that's the only way I knew how to be talked to. Because I didn't want to feel that pain of my childhood. And I started crying in the car, right? When I recognized that it happened and then it turned into a full laugh, which I is now kind of, I don't know if this is your MO, but now I like kind of cry and then laugh at the song.

Ryann: 28:54

So good when you get to the laughing point. Yeah. We call it crafting in our family. We we hit a cry and then a craft and then the full-on laugh. What's wild is I for me have seen my children at various ages, and I've relived those ages with those different children. And I'm like, oh, when I was four, this was happening. And now my oldest is like 10 and a half on the border of 11. I'm like, oh my God, this was going on for me when I was 10. Like it's so wild and the greatest gift I've ever had in my life to grow up alongside my children. To let that unfold.

Erica: 29:39

Like it's so cool. So well put. And I I think what's so fascinating is that they really are our little teachers. My daughter, who's one, walks like a drunk orangutan. Okay. Like, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Anyone who has a like a 15 month old or a little one. Yeah. And she's so quote unquote big in my eyes. But one When I get down and just take like a second to recognize, she shrinks to the actual size she is. Yeah. And I see a love that's like so pure and so true. And it is like the greatest gift. Like my daughter this morning, I was meditating, and I'll tell you, I felt hands on me and I was just a little annoyed. And then she found my mouth, gave me a kiss, and then whispered in my ear, I love you so much, and then ran out the door. And it's like what I think about, and I say this as a parent all the time like, my job is to make sure she's the most her. They are the most them possible. That little laugh, like the like, I love you so much, whispering the ear. Like, my job is to make them them. And then I realize I was them. And it's like when you see that, it's all is working together. Like, I don't know a lot about astrology, or at least I don't know as much as people who are listening to this podcast. But what I do know is that my youngest is a Taurus and my oldest is a Leo. My north node is a Taurus, and I always wanted to be a seven on the Enneagram.

Ryann: 31:02

What's the seven? It's the enthusiast. Yeah, like yeah, the really the fun one. Yes, yes, yes. What are you on the Enneagram? I'm an achiever. Like you're a three.

Erica: 31:12

Okay, I'm a four. I'm an individualist. Like totally.

Ryann: 31:15

Yeah, yeah.

Erica: 31:16

Um, I'm a three, and I always wanted to be a seven. Uh and so I have these two little things, like little things, right? That are these babies that are just reminding me of what is still possible. And I really feel like that's what makes this all doable and fun. I hear all the time, particularly from men, but often from grandmas as well. It gets easier. This is fucking fun right now. Mm-hmm. But I get it, and I'm trying my best to like to just be here. No good, bad, just here. And I think it's like all of the work prior enables me to enjoy this. And I would say still, like doing the work in it enables me to enjoy it.

Ryann: 32:00

Yep. Amen. So good. Thank you for diving into all the things with me and with us today. Um, this was just so good. You're such a gift. I appreciate you just tremendously. I can't believe we were in the same room in 2018. How crazy is that? Both listening to KK and her amazing speech. And I hear souls in it. Like, I just can't even believe it. And also, I can. So this is just so great. I'm gonna ask you the three questions I ask everybody at the end of the interview. But before I do that, actually, where can we find you, follow you, and learn more about everything you're doing in the world?

Erica: 32:37

Yeah. Um, where can you find me? So I'm on LinkedIn. Um, I'm starting a YouTube channel. Awesome. Erica Ballard, you can find me. And then my website's Erica Ballard.co. Reach out that way. And then if it's helpful at all, I can give listeners like a free download for like five things to like get back in touch with their feelings. Yeah. And they can get in touch with me that way because they'll have my email and everything.

Ryann: 32:57

Perfect. Amazing. So the first of the rapid fire questions is what if anything are you reading right now? What's on your bookshelf? The biology of belief.

Erica: 33:08

Oh, that's a dispensa, right? No, it's um Bruce, Dr. Bruce slipped in. Oh, yeah, yeah. Got it. It's okay. Really fascinating. Talks about this how cell, like our beliefs at the cellular level. Yeah. It's very science-y, correct? Oh, yeah. I got my master's from Tufts Medical. Okay.

Ryann: 33:26

Like I I opened it and closed it.

Erica: 33:29

Yeah. It's for me. I failed college algebra and dropped anatomy. Like things like Joe Dispenza, Biology of Belief, what was the other one? Your body keeps score. I'm like nerding out with that stuff. Yeah. But I want to also preface, I I want to also add the counter to all of that that I read is I am deep into Catherine Centers. What's that? I don't know what that is. The rom com writer. Okay. If you want to just smile, yeah. The bodyguard and rom commerce.

Ryann: 34:01

Okay. Perfect August read. Perfect. Amazing. The next question I have for you is what's bringing you joy today?

Erica: 34:09

This conversation really, because I get a like, I'm watching crazy to my left and like really enjoying talking to you. Um, so I would say this conversation, and the one thing I will just add is like I drink the same coffee every morning and it brings me the most amount of joy. I wake up like so stoked to get to it every day.

Ryann: 34:28

Yay, it's coffee. It's coffee time. Oh, I love it. And then the last question I have for you, Erica, is who or what has taught you the most? Children. My children.

Erica: 34:37

I um anything that I didn't want to heal, right in your face. Right in my face. And and the biggest amount of motivation to do so. Thanks to them. Yeah. Thank you so much again for being here.

Ryann: 34:48

This was such a gift. Thank you.